Soup and Bread for a rainy fall day

Remember that bubble tea I promised you? Well, you should be thanking me on bended knee that I spared you the most epic of gag reflexes.  First of all, it calls for coconut milk. Now, as my poor fiancé knows, I’m nuts about everything coconut. So, I was super excited to try my first carton of coconut milk. I was so sure that it would soon be experiencing a burst of luau in my mouth so it didn’t bother me when I slapped down five dollars for half a gallon. It tasted like cow boob juice. L Ok, so, with a little sweetener it couldn’t be bad. Proceed with my French vanilla tea. After FIVE attempts to get a grasp on the tapioca pearls, I finally perfected them. Excitedly, I added the tea, milk, and ice into a blender. Pour, then dump in some tapioca pearls! This was going to be great!!!..... If you fancy semi sweet, vanilla flavored mucus with frog eggs floating about. Geeeerooosssss.

HOWEVER, I redeemed myself by making a soup so fantastically tasty, and a bread so wonderful that it was completely eaten before I had the chance to nab a picture. So, without further ado, Ranch Chicken Soup and Beer Bread-

Soup-

2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1 medium onion, finely chopped

2 large carrots, peeled and sliced

6 small potatoes diced, with the skins still attached

3 Tablespoons fresh minced garlic (the more garlic, the merrier)

64 oz  chicken broth

1.5 Tablespoons dry Ranch Dressing seasoning

1/4 teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper

1.  Heat oil into a large dutch oven over medium heat.  When hot, saute onion, carrots, and garlic for 7-10 minutes or until softened slightly. In a separate pan, sauté the chicken, and then shred once thoroughly cooked. Pour the chicken broth into the vegetable mess, dump in the chicken and add the potatoes. Stir, then season with ranch seasoning. DON’T ADD SALT UNLESS YOU HAVE TO!!! Reduce heat to low and simmer until the potatoes are to your liking.  Taste and season accordingly.

8 servings

Beer Bread – Adapted from Recipezaar

• 3 cups flour (sifted)
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 (12 ounce) can beer (I used dad’s “guest” beer, aka, Miller High Life)
• 1/4 cup butter

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Mix dry ingredients and beer.
3. Pour into a greased loaf pan.
4. Pour melted butter over mixture.
5. Bake 1 hour, remove from pan and cool for at least 15 minutes.

Doesn’t that sound delicious? I thought so.

In other less tasty news, life continues to keep me busy and somehow, I’m still able to procrastinate. Work is still fun, thank goodness, but my hours are getting chopped. Sunday was a nut house in the morning. The hostess, who doesn’t like me, sat me everywhere and then neglected to tell me I had tables. So sweet. Then later in the afternoon, she just didn’t seat me at all. Fine, I get it. Whatever. Luckily the manager at Starbucks likes me- it looks promising! I mean, 30 hours a week promising with decent pay and hours that allow me to have an afternoon. Yay. And now back to being responsible.

tired...still

You know you’re tired when you drink an entire monster (this is ME drinking a monster people) and it doesn’t faze you at all. At all. Nothing. In fact, you’re more tired by the act of drinking it and digesting what little sugar it has. That was me a few days ago- fast forward to today. I have officially joined the ranks of the undead. I feel awful. I just can’t sleep lately, and no matter how much shut-eye I manage in a day, I’m left even more exhausted then before.

Note to self, overeating does not compensate for lack of sleep. This is a habit I must break now.

I was going to post a recipe for bubble tea, but apparently you have to be a Zen master to properly cook tapioca. My first attempt produced invisible tapioca blobs, which are great for a diet, but not for bubble tea. My second attempt resulted in mushy tadpole eggs. So, round three consists of little white balls in an overnight Jacuzzi. I pray it works BECAUSE I REALLY WANT BUBBLE TEA! So, tomorrow, I promise.

I wish I could say today was interesting enough to blab about it, but it really wasn’t. I had my interview at starbucks and as I watched the droves of people entering and exiting, I seriously contemplated what the heck I was getting into. The way I’m feeling, I just want a mindless job that’s quite and requires the brainpower of a newt. Yes, that would be wonderful. I also got to learn disarming techniques in self-defense. I’m definitely going to need some practice. My partner is getting speedy, so I ended up kneed in the boob and having my arm bent in an interesting direction. Hey, at least I can kick, right?

I do love my partner though. She’s totally awesome, and I wish she could see that. We talked a little bit about weight loss and how she wanted to lose a few pounds. She’s tired of seeing all the pretty girls on tv. I tried to tell her that they are fake- but looking back to my high school years, that advice really sucks. She said I was perfect- I just shook my head. No, I’m the result of an eating disorder and horrific self-esteem. Please don’t want to be like me, you’re already, truly beautiful. You’ve got a head on your shoulders, a compassionate heart, a spicy attitude and pretty eyes. Don’t think for a second you should be like “those girls.” Give them two years, tops.

Pumpkin cookies are way more enthralling that Ancient Africa

I bet you thought I forgot about this blog. Well, aren’t you thirty sides of wrong today! No, you see, I’ve just been incredibly busy and a teensy bit down lately. You try a long distance relationship sometime and tell me if you’re chipper everyday. But, fortunately for me, I’m engaged to a totally awesome guy. I mean, would your guy buy you a gold leaf, leather bound book that contained the entire Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? No? I thought not. *is slightly smug*
So, in honor of HBM, I decided to make him one of his favorite cookies and send it off to him- soft pumpkin cookies with cinnamon glaze. Not that I don’t send him something every week- but, hey, this one was an actual request! At least he’s not picky when it comes to sweets.

Cinnamon Glazed Pumpkin cookies (which I stol…borrowed from All Recipes)
Ingredients for the Cookies

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 heaping teaspoons ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon ground nutmeg

½ teaspoon ground cloves

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup butter, softened

1 cup white sugar

½ cup light brown sugar

1 cup canned pumpkin puree
 
1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup dried cranberries (optional)

Ingredients for the Glaze

2 cups confectioners’ sugar

3 tablespoons milk

1 tablespoon butter, melted

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a baking sheet (or two) with parchment paper or a Silpat.
In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, and salt.
In a mixer bowl, cream together the butter, white sugar and brown sugar using the paddle attachment. Beat in the pumpkin, egg, and vanilla to butter mixture until thoroughly combined. Add the dry ingredients and mix just until combined. Fold in the cranberries, if using.


Drop cookies on baking sheet using a 2TBS cookie scoop.

Bake for 12-15 minutes in a preheated oven, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool cookies completely on a rack.
For the glaze, combine the confectioners’ sugar, milk, melted butter, vanilla, and cinnamon. (Add milk to thin the glaze, if needed.) Dip the cookies top side down in the glaze, then set on a rack to dry.

To preserve the soft, cake-like texture, store in an air-tight container. Separate layers with parchment paper.

Don’t they look yummy? Well, besides the fact slight resemblance to albino cow diarrhea. Either way, I wouldn’t know, seeing as wheat and I go together like Israel and Palestine.


In other completely unrelated news, I officially have my wedding dress! Yay! I’d have to say, at this point, I don’t care if my wedding is an elopement or Punjabi style- I just want to get it over with. Sooner rather than later. There is a crapload of drama involved and I don’t do drama. So, I keep myself as busy as possible with work, art, work, baking, school, and feeling sorry for myself in between. Speaking of work, I’ve got an interview with Starbucks tomorrow- wish me luck! I, for one, love having a paycheck. Now, I can legally satiate my craving for all things steampunk AND update my (no joke) six year old wardrobe. Sadness.


And now, I should probably continue with my Ancient History homework- but the history of ancient Africa has never been able to enthrall me so I find myself thinking about a sweater I haven’t worn since I was five, the cute blue one with a horse on it. It had a real mane and a green jewel for an eye and everything! Next thing I know, I’m two paragraphs down with no idea how I got there. Typical. If there is one thing I’ve learned so far, it’s that we as humans haven’t come a long way at all. We’re still the same, we’ve always behaved the same, and we’re just as evil now as we were then. Men will always be fascinated with boobs (among other things, see picture below *tragic sigh*), women will always be in charge of growing plants and taking care of screaming infants, humans will always fight over shiny rocks, and the wealthy will do anything to ensure their fifth meal is on time. History gives me a depressing outlook on life.

Just to give you an idea of what I'm learning. Scrutinize the picture. Reminds me of the Boston Museum- but that's for another post entirely.
And so this blog doesn't end on a poopy note, I WISH I was this cool
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/party.html

A little of this and that

Well, today certainly didn’t go as planned- but those are usually the days I get the most done. You see, I was going to study my history, I was going to clean my room, and I was going to enjoy some chai tea. Instead, studying my history looked a lot like shopping, and my chai tea tasted like cinnamon butt. On the upside, I got a whole heck of a lot more money in my paycheck than I thought soooooo I bought a new shirt that I decided would go excellently with a belt I plan to buy in the future, and thus refuse to wear said shirt until said belt arrives and detail the whole process in a run on sentence epic enough to make my high school English professors pee themselves. :) Yes, I am that mean.
I also happened upon my bridesmaid’s dresses for a whopping 30 dollars…together. Who’s the queen of cheap? I so am. And yes, I’m getting married, to the love of my life. He just so happens to be a submariner stationed on the other side of the country. I am thus free to make any wedding plan myself. It’s probably easier to remove all the mumbo jumbo and admit I’m a control freak. And, let’s cut the crap, every groom knows his opinion is only an illusion. Just kidding… kind of.
But yes, “Honey Bunches of Man” as he has been dubbed, and I will be getting hitched sometime in November- if the Navy cooperates. Which it better, or I’ll lose it…again. No matter- things are really picking up for me and I’m slowly crawling out of this depression I’ve been lodged in for the past three months. I’ve been blessed with the most incredible opportunity to illustrate a children’s novel. I don’t know if it will ever get published, but I don’t care! I’ll have the original art and I make a little cash on the side to help with wedding expenses. Talk about being blessed!
And now I bring MY weekend to a close with the sad realization that I lose my fiancé on the 14th for a good week or two, and a lively discussion between Zarathustra, Moses, and Akhenaton. I would have posted a recipe BUT I’m exhausted.

How to Survive CCA

Surviving Charter-
Advice and wisdom from a full term inmate

Alright, I admit it- I was sadistically amused as I watched my little brother struggle and throw a fit over his first week of sixth grade homework. Those were the good old days. “Buck up.” I told him with a twisted grin. “It only gets worse.” Even though I still don’t feel sorry for his plight, I don’t exactly wish him to be left hanging- or any other first timer either. I was there. I remember. I remember the first day of school- and awkward little blonde girl about four feet tall, embarrassed as her mom panicked over an accidental stain on her uniform. I remember begging random people to end my life- painlessly or not. I remember cursing my parents for forcing me to go to this fascist institution. The migraines, the tears, the boredom, the all night study sessions followed by emergency coffee shots in the morning. I remember worshipping the seniors and then finally reaching their status and feeling slightly gypped. And then I remember graduating and saying to myself, “Hey, that wasn’t so bad.”
And now looking back, there is a lot of wisdom that the charter gods fated me to figure out on my own- they are merciless after all. So, here is what I wish I would have known, but had to learn the hard way.

1. Homework is the worst in grades sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and only a little better in tenth. Sixth grade is a shocker for most kids- at least it was for me. Going from no homework to be blessed with multiple hours is enough to make a grown man cry- or make an eleven year old grow hair on their chest. Welcome to the savage charter jungle. Now, I can tell you not to procrastinate, but chances are you will. This is also an initiation process. Only the strongest learn to procrastinate and still manage to finish three hours of homework in half an hour, right before class. I don’t recommend it. Seriously. This isn’t your mansy-pansy public school. The teachers expect the best, and trust me, give it to them- or they’ll take your sanity. You might walk away with a “C”, but at least you will have your life.
2. A “B” is equivalent to Jason fetching the Golden Fleece- depending on the teacher of course. Congratulations! Grades here do not follow grades “out there.” Also, resist the urge to compare grades to your friends. Most of the time, it’ll just deal a severe blow to your self-esteem.
3. Somehow, even us nerds can form cliques. You have the popular nerds in one group, and the regular nerds in the other. In the end, you’re all nerds, and chances are, you’ll graduate together. So, start liking each other now.
4. On average, girls will always outnumber the guys. This is good for the guys but starts an ugly recycling system for the girls. In middle school, dating is more of a status symbol- it always has been. In high school, it’s the same. And somehow, girls always find a way to conjure up some ridiculous petty drama- stay away from those girls. They need more homework.
5. Dr. Proser and Mr. Nicklay are not as scary as they look. Trust me- they are pretty much the coolest kids on the block. Mr. Nickaly only pretends, and Dr. Proser is only scary when he does his lizard impersonation. Pay attention to this guy. Behind the bizarre acts and continuous flow of coffee rests the heart of Charter’s soul. You will never learn more in your life from anybody else. Pay attention.
6. Make sure Mr. Childs has a full supply of diet coke. If the basketball team loses the day before, be on your best behavior the next day.
7. When it comes to homework, never assume. You know what they say about assuming, right? No? Well, nevermind then. If you’re not sure if you should do something extra, that’s a good indication that you should do it. Even if you didn’t have to, you’ll be ahead or that much smarter. I remember writing an optional outline for Ancient History, which scored me a free pass on the final exam. Woot!
8. If you haven’t already figured it out, rolly backpacks are the biggest hallway sin you can commit. Speaking of hallways, yes, they have always smelled that way. No, you cannot change it. It adds to the ambience. So does your locker partners sixth month old potato salad.
9. Sparknotes is great, but don’t think your teacher isn’t smart enough to think you actually read your book. Sometimes, especially a certain English teacher (you know who you are :P) will throw in a random obscure quote and you’ll be left wondering where in Davy Jone’s locker that came from. And boys, don’t use sparknotes to avoid Jane Austen. Think of her as your personal tutor into the minds and dating scene of your common female. Or if you’re desperate, read Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies.
10. God is not going to save you. Study for your tests. Also, make sure there isn’t a backside.
11. Do your lab notebook EXACTLY how Mr. McCormick tells you. EXACTLY! No extra periods, black pen, and for Pete’s sake, only ONE line to cross out. None of this epileptic squiggle business. Learn how to spell Stoichiometry. Recognize the fact that a mole is not just a mammal and that Avogadro’s number is not the price of a fruit. Your grade will thank you.
12. Individuality is frowned upon. Do it when Big Brother isn’t looking.
13. You can have a social life or good grades. Not both- unless you are Batman, which you aren’t.
14. If it has to be microwaved, it’s safer just to avoid it.
15. Double space, Times New Roman 12, MLA format. Cite your sources! Cite them!
I have so many more of course. I could probably write a whole novel, but here are the basics. Trust me, I know you’ll probably hate this place for awhile. Stick with it. Once you get to college, you’ll feel like you’re in an episode of the Twilight Zone, repeatedly saying “I see dumb people.” And now, back to watching my little brother suffer.

I had a chocolate moment again...at least it was productive

            We call them chocolate moments at my house; moments defined by slight to aggressive chocolate cravings usually triggered by hormones, boredom, upset, stress, weariness, sniffles, and even the occasional bout of constipation. In other words, “moments” are all the time. I just had one ten minutes ago, brought about by yet another “what am I going to do with the rest of my life?!” episodes. I found some muffins with the heads bitten off, and rooted around for chocolate chips. Not satisfying. It soon escalated into a code red moment with me digging in the depths of the pantry in a desperate search for some legal opium. (Unacceptable- I’m a baker and chocolate shortages never happen) I found an open, half eaten bag of milk chocolate, circa 2008 that tasted faintly of cayenne pepper paprika. I’m sure if I ate enough I’d find those nasty, crunchy little shells that pantry bugs leave behind. I didn’t eat enough to find out- well, at least I wasn’t looking while I munched. And then, I decided to write a blog.

            Why? Why not? Not that anyone is really interested in my day to day dealings, but I believe it’s a wonderful creative outlet. And besides, it’s a great way for me to share my recipes and art with you, and maybe we can learn something from each other as well. So, grab a Lindt ball and let’s get this party started.