I guess, well, I guess I don’t know. I’m really exhausted, and pretty numb. I have so much to say but I don’t have the oomph to speak aloud. Writing works. It always has. Thank goodness for my blog, and thank goodness I can write whatever I feel like. So tonight, lady, whoever you are, thank you for making me cry. You are so mean. Please find a different job that doesn’t require compassion or patience. Thank you.
Anyway, Wedding planning is going so-so. I am the epitome of budget bride and I am incredibly grateful that family and friends have been so willing to donate stuff and help. Bonus when you are broke.
I finally decided to go back to plan A. Married in a church, reception in a coffee shop. Works for me. In all honesty, weddings don’t really excite me that much. Maybe it’s the drugs speaking here, I don’t know, but I just can’t seem to get my act together. I’ve got sooooo much to do, none of which I actually want to, and only a month to do it. Can I do it? Ya. Do I want to? Absolutely not.
I don’t feel much like myself at all. Sadly, I want nothing to do with the people I care about the most. I feel like somebody pressed the uptight, no affection button. I keep putting off the vibe that I just want to be left alone, but in reality, I rarely ever want to be left alone. I wish somebody understood that. And the funny thing is, I keep telling myself that maybe it’s true, maybe I, and everyone else, would be better off if I just disappeared one day. Oh well.
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